Much of life is made up of striving to be someone you were never meant to be. Finding grace to be content and joyful with the person God created you to be is a milestone to be celebrated.
About five years ago, I struggled with a strange sense of the doldrums. I don’t know if I was depressed, although I did present most of the markers of depression. I just know I was unmotivated, lethargic, frustrated and sad for a little over a year.
I’m told by those who know much more about these things than I, that it might have been a transition to mid-life i.e. a mid-life crisis. I’m actually saving that event in the hopes I’ll come out of it with a Harley or a convertible. Whatever it was, it passed and life moved on.
One of the results of that odd season of despondency was I came out of it more comfortable in my own skin. I am at peace with both my gifts and my flaws. It doesn’t mean I am not trying to improve or grow, quite the contrary. It’s just that I am at peace when I see my reflection instead of feeling angst or disgust.
I no longer feel compelled to prove myself. I have died to my own “Messiah Complex.” Joy, gratitude and contentment are constant companions. The fruit of the Spirit are more noticeable than before. I am less reactive and more respondent. I am amused and in wonder of sunsets, starry nights and thunder storms.
“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.” – Jesus (Matt 5:5 MSG)